Overcoming the "My Side Hustle is Running My Life" Feeling
Meet Barbara
On paper, Barbara was a mid-career success story:
Manager leading implementation of a new function and its critical workflows at her company
Consistent salary growth year over year
Robust professional and personal network
In reality, Barbara felt stuck and unsatisfied with the stress and speed of corporate life.
Does this contrast between corporate achievement and internal unease resonate with you or someone you know?
Barbara wanted to eventually leave corporate to help clients through the use of therapeutic and art-based coaching techniques.
She had been building her business part-time but was not yet in the financial position to leave her full-time position.
It’s a common crossroads - pursuing your passion while juggling external responsibilities.
“I reached out for help because I felt like my coaching business was running my life.”
Drowning in “Good Advice”
Like any new entrepreneur, Barbara invested in online courses and masterminds.
She was overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of “good advice” and didn’t have the time or energy to sort out the conflicts between various business experts.
“I wanted to fill in the gaps in my knowledge to set up my business the ‘right’ way. Instead, I got more and more confused about what the ‘right’ way was for me.”
Have you ever felt that pressure - knowing what experts say you should do, but feeling paralyzed by the sheer volume of work ahead of you?
When she sat down to work on her business, she found herself treading water in a sea filled with:
“Must-do’s” from (occasionally conflicting) experts
Lived experience from her corporate job on what actually works
Nagging questions and doubts since she wasn’t getting the results she wanted
Barbara told me she felt like she was pushing herself too hard by giving her all to both her day job and her business.
“I felt like a fraud - I was helping clients with burnout and stress but didn’t fully practice what I preached.”
That feeling of incongruence can be deeply unsettling, can’t it?
Step 1: Finding Clarity
When clients feel stuck, the first step is to understand exactly what "stuck" means for them.
Barbara repeatedly expressed frustration – doing, doing, doing, all without seeing her desired results.
Together, we unpacked her feelings towards her business. I provided a space for her to voice:
Every frustration
Every inefficiency, and
Every other feeling she had
This exercise yielded a clear list of challenges. I helped her group them into themes that resonated with her.
“Sharing everything going on so openly and without judgment shows the value of coaching.
I started to make sense of things floating around in my head and hadn’t realized how inefficient I was in my business. It made sense as I was working crazy hours in my day job and studying too, but as a perfectionist, I still expected to do everything brilliantly.”
Sometimes just getting the chaos out of your head brings much needed relief!
Step 2: The Power of Time
Barbara was eager to tackle a theme immediately, but I talked her out of it.
Here’s why: because she felt like her business was running her life, we needed to understand how much time Barbara actually had for her business.
I suggested she conduct a time study – a concept she knew but hadn't applied to herself. Using a template I developed for my clients, she tracked her hours over a typical week.
The results were eye-opening for Barbara.
“Doing the calculations of how much actual time I had available to spend on my business and rest during the week was a really big changer. I had been beating myself up in such an unreasonable way.”
How often do we set unrealistic expectations of ourselves without truly knowing the resources we have available?
Step 3: Streamlining her Main Workflow
Armed with a realistic understanding of her available time, Barbara was ready to tackle her first theme: writing her weekly article for her audience more efficiently.
This was a major stressor for her, often written late Sunday nights which disrupted her sleep and set a frantic tone for her upcoming corporate week.
“I’d often start my weekly newsletter post on the Saturday or Sunday but keep getting distracted by tasks around the home or TV/social media. It meant I’d inefficiently research and write across hours and use the midnight Sunday deadline to meet my weekly publishing goal. So many of those articles were posted at 23:59 on a Sunday night and it’d take me ages to wind down for sleep.”
Is there a recurring task in your own life or business that consistently causes stress like this?
I helped Barbara break down her writing process step-by-step. This helped identify bottlenecks, distractions, and efficiencies. Together, we brainstormed strategies she could test in order to create a high-quality article without the usual frenzied rush.
After experimentation, Barbara shared how this single change in her work habits had alleviated a ton of stress in her life.
“I realized how useful creating monthly themes and sub-themes, and picking the article topic early in the week was. It allowed me to work on the draft each day instead of as a last minute rush.”
Bonus: Deeper Breakthrough
Barbara’s time study revealed a critical insight: her relentless drive was hindering her success.
By not giving herself permission to rest, she became susceptible to illness, which slowed her progress and fed her feelings of stress and overwhelm.
“Due to family issues and infections, I had a significant setback with my physical health from June to October. Through poor health, tests, procedures and the like while still working in my day job, I tried my best to stick to the weekly bare minimum business activities I’d committed to. I had to become more efficient to make it achievable.”
She recognized this damaging cycle in her life: intense self-pressure led to sickness, which led to more pressure and longer recovery times.
It was time for Barbara to break the pattern.
Perhaps you recognize this pattern - the cycle where pushing harder leads to burnout, not breakthrough?
Barbara’s Transformation
Through our coaching partnership, Barbara achieved significant shifts:
Clarity: she pinpointed exactly what made her feel stuck and overwhelmed in her business.
Realism: she gained an accurate understanding of her available time while balancing a full-time job and personal life.
Efficiency: she improved a key workflow, transforming a major source of stress into a manageable process that she can continue to optimize.
“Even now, I’m tweaking how much time I want to spend on my business. I have a better structure, and am quicker at turning obstacles around because of the approach we discussed. Knowing I have time mentally allocated to tasks helps me reduce guilt and shame. I know when it’s OK to sit on the sofa with the cats to watch a show or movie.”
Imagine what the impact of finding that kind of peace and permission would have in your own busy life.
Ready for Your Own Shift?
If Barbara's story resonates, you don't have to feel stuck alone. Book a clarity call today, and let's explore how coaching can support your journey.
“I loved working with Heather during our coaching sessions. She has an excellent way of summarizing what I was sharing, so I could get clear on what I needed and wanted to prioritize.
She has a great ability to switch from operational, practical and workflow activities to the deeper emotional and self-worth issues muddying the waters. Thanks Heather!”