Setting Boundaries At Work Can Be Uncomfortable - And Sometimes Necessary
It’s human nature to resist change.
At work, it can be especially difficult to implement change because of the company culture or fear of what might happen once the change is made.
In this article, I’ll share my experience with change - setting boundaries at work where I was torn between professional obligations and my personal well being.
Managing Healthy Boundaries During Lockdown
Before the COVID Lockdown, I supported operations teams all over the globe. I was on the road about 60% of the year, supporting my teams.
Lockdown changed everything - no travel, all work from home. I didn’t face the typical time zone limits when I wanted to schedule calls with my teams. I had the flexibility to work in the early morning hours or late at night to support their various projects. It wasn’t unheard of to have a lunch break at 2 am some weeks.
Because I was working from home, I was able to set a boundary for my work hours each week so that I could get adequate time off. This helped me maintain a good work life balance and my mental health during the stress of Lockdown.
It Was A New World For Us Post-Lockdown
Our company reorganized during Lockdown, and as part of that change my immediate team was moved from operations to engineering. This didn’t make a lot of sense to us because our work was still operations. This unprecedented situation also gifted us a new boss.
Once Lockdown was over, we were nudged to return to the office. It was dead. The halls were empty. There were only a handful of restaurants open nearby. And the buses for the commute had changed to a schedule that was not employee friendly.
Returning to the office didn’t work for our remote teams. They liked working with us remotely. We still provided them excellent service, and they really liked not paying for our travel.
Our remote teams were happy, our boss was happy because we were getting the job done, and we were happy because we continued to work from home supporting our teams at 2 am.
Everyone was happy so we basically continued working remotely. Why fix something that’s not broke?
The Decree That Forced Me to Set a Work Boundary
One day management decided that we needed to come into the office three days a week.
This made sense for the engineering teams. Their primary customers were each other, so it made sense for them to all come into the office and do all their deep work together.
Our work was operations work. Our primary customers were scattered all over the world.
Since everyone was happy with our work, we pretty much ignored this directive. We came into the office one to two days a week and continued to service our teams at 2 am while maintaining a healthy work life balance.
One morning my boss dropped by my office and asked if we could talk.
No matter what, he wanted me in the office three days a week.
“You do realize that I was on the phone late with Australia last night?” I asked him.
“Yeah, I do. They’re coming along well on their project. But management wants all of us in the office three days a week from now on. I need you to support me on this.”
“They do realize that our customers are in different time zones? How do they expect us to work from the office when most of our meetings with them are not during working hours?”
He shrugged. “They want good metrics.”
“But we’re a small team - just five of us - surely we don’t really impact the metric at all?”
My boss said, “I don’t know, but that’s what has been decided and that’s what we’re going to do. I have every confidence that you’ll figure it out. I have to go to a leadership team meeting now, so I look forward to seeing you in the office three days next week.”
I Did Figure It Out - I Set New Work Boundaries
After being ordered to return to the office three days a week, I found myself torn.
My overseas clients had been progressing well through our early or late meetings, but the new policy didn’t support my overseas clients schedules.
I realized I felt betrayed by my boss’s behavior. My old boss who retired would have gone to bat for us, putting the customers first and helping leadership understand that we needed some time flexibility to do our jobs (which we always had before COVID), especially since the teams didn’t want to spend any money on our travel now. That way, we could continue our remote work and avoid fatigue and burnout to satisfy a metric.
My boss got what he wanted - looking good to his manager. But how long could we sustain our good performance with calls at 2 am and working three days a week in the office?
To me it seemed that the underlying conflict wasn’t a metric at all. It was my desire to provide excellent support to my teams vs my boss’s looking good.
I had to make a difficult decision. I could continue supporting my teams in the early mornings or late evenings and overwork in order to meet the metric, or I could stop serving my clients on their schedule, force them to accommodate me in the office three days a week, and preserve adequate time off to support my personal life and a healthy work life balance.
I chose me and set boundaries for my work hours.
I cancelled all my 3 am early morning meetings with my European teams and asked them to stay in their offices late on occasion.
I asked my Asia teams to get up early or set our calls for Mondays their time / Sunday evenings my time.
When I showed up to the office the next week, my boss was happy. “See, that wasn’t hard.”
I smiled at him. “I canceled my meetings with Europe and Asia that were outside office hours. They now work around my in-office schedule.”
He looked at me and said, “That seems a little harsh.”
I looked at him, surprised. “Is our number priority meeting our metric?”
He grimaced and said no more.
That’s what I felt I had to do in order to maintain my work life balance and avoid burnout.
But at least we met our metric.
The Old Roots of My Internal Conflict
I have people-pleasing tendencies, so I was emotionally torn by the mandate.
I loved my job. I loved seeing my teams succeed. I loved the diversity of the cultures each came from. And I did a great job and was recognized globally in the company for my work.
But there was no way I could sustain overworking as the new norm.
What my new boss failed to understand was that in order to meet the metric and maintain the same level of service to my teams, I would have to work additional evening and early morning hours and still be in the office three days a week.
Do You Have a Boss Who Doesn't Honor Workplace Boundaries?
I have to admit I didn’t really like working for my new boss. I eventually left that company, which was the right career move for me.
If you find yourself in a situation where your boss doesn’t honor your boundaries, then there’s a few things you can do to begin working through that.
First, sometimes workplace conflicts are due to misaligned agendas rather than your personal shortcomings. You can analyze your boss’s behavior and maybe even ask a few good unassuming questions to better understand their agenda and what might be driving them to violate your boundary. A trusted coworker can also give you insight.
Once you have an idea of what might be driving your boss, then you can brainstorm ways you might be able to support their agenda while maintaining your work boundaries.
Yes you need a paycheck - but at what personal cost?
Navigating corporate challenges requires balancing personal and professional needs. Understanding competing agendas allows you to determine your next step to support your well being.
When you’re ready for support, here’s where you can learn more about what I do.
Heather Lakatos Career Breakthrough Strategist View My Bio